Miss Them, But Do Not Ache For Them

Every morning you wake up with someone you love, take a moment to be amazed they are there beside you, be grateful you are alive to bear witness to another day of living and loving another human, be fascinated by this person who was vulnerable enough to wake up beside you– be it one night or one thousand times one thousand nights– place your hands over each other on your heart and embrace this sweet present so many long for. And if one morning you awake and they are gone forever, miss them, but do not ache for them.

~ Just L (Goddess Wisdom, January 14, 2019)

When You See Someone You Used To Love And They Are A Stranger

On a pub / band crawl with friends in Vallarta, I enter the bar and have to squeeze by you as you were setting up your drums near the crowded entry door…

Wow, Kevin, You could not after two years, muster a simple, “Hello.”

Recall, I was ecstatic with my life in Oregon and having traveled/worked in 14 countries. You, Kevin, are the one who deliberately stopped the band – your band – two years ago to introduce yourself to me.

Two years later, I realize you are the dark one who requires another’s light to shine.

That makes me so sad. When I first met you, you were sparkly, with a wide smile and genuine heart. Between the two of us, we had the whole world. You broke my heart with the promise of your whole heart; all the while you deceived me.

I will never understand how one spends intimate moments, sharing deep love and vivid dreams, and yet can deny the spark that launched a thousand dreams ever happened. You must be really empty if you can spend two years loving a woman, accept every gift (not just ‘things’), and put on record that she is the angel you have been praying for, but cannot spare a second to acknowledge her. That is a sad commentary on your soul. I pray you find your way back to the musical magic that originally jumpstarted your heart.

The fact you could not acknowledge the woman you loved, the one who believed in you so much, she sacrificed her own work-life to help you realize your dreams. The positive-energy woman who led her life out loud with so much enthusiasm for living and love for you that her son and daughter-in-love carved out a special place for you at their wedding table. The faithful woman who regularly made her way across the miles to you and waited for you while you went through the Visa process. The understanding band widow. The one who kept the home fires burning hot so you could fall gently into the quiet retreat of solitude.

You greedily took it all, all the while knowing you would never be able to keep your promises. As there were others who were also this woman.

This is why I left you.

This is certainly why you have lost your manners, and your voice.

The rest will simply be the rest…

~ Just L (January 12, 2019)

Author’s Note: I write poems of love and loss. This is neither of those.

Did he deceive me from the beginning? I will never know. What I do know is the rest of my life will be as fabulous as before he entered it. As for him, all I know for sure is that lack of integrity has a way of making one miserable.

In 2019, I Want Someone

In 2019,

I want someone who holds my hand as tightly as they hold my heart;
And misses me desperately when we are apart.

I want someone who adores their life and family
And embraces every moment honestly.

I want someone who is silly and can laugh;
And yet willing to fight on my behalf.

I want someone who fearlessly lives with integrity;
And is open to forge a shared destiny.

I want someone who finds joy in the present;
And one whose soul is luminescent.

I want someone who wants to grow old with me
Without ever growing old, you see.

~ Just L (December 31, 2018)

Author’s Note: I want more.

love travel

This Year Went Sideways

This year went sideways
Yet I’ve never felt straighter
Survived the mistake of my life
And outshined the haters

I put off worthy suitors
Accumulated abdominal fat
Ignoring my stress levels
For one who was not all that

A talented musician
But a mediocre lover
His ‘sweet’ disposition
An intricate cover

Thrilled I’m not entangled
For a lifetime with this mess
Or have to depend on him
For anything serious

Blinded by early sparks
Red flags I ignored
Committing for too long
To one to be deplored

I entrusted my soul
To an unworthy man
Killing me softly with his song
When I should’ve ran

As 2018 comes to an end
I am so happy it’s over
Not to be entangled for life
With this free loader

~ Just L (December 22, 2018)

Author’s Note: They say the love of your life often comes after the mistake of your life. Here’s to 2019!

Morning Love

I awake, feel behind me
To find you’re not there
You are closing the curtains
To block out the sun’s glare

“I have to pee”
A morning ritual
Pat your naked booty
So simple and natural

I smell your pillow
A smile crosses my face
Cloves and guava root
You fill the whole place

I close my eyes
Note your shadow above
I know what comes next
“Morning love”

First we fork
Then we spoon
Entangled in blankets
Until well after noon

Your arm around me
Holding me tight
I scoot a lil’ closer
The world is just right.

~ Just L (December 6, 2018)

He Doesn’t Need You To Fix Him

He doesn’t need you to fix him
But to live your life unapologetically
Support him
But grow on your own
Unconditionally love yourself first then him
He doesn’t need a mother
A savior or even a queen
Instead be his lover
His best friend
And partner in crime
Because he doesn’t need to be rescued from himself
It’s not in how much we give
How much we try to do
It’s about healing but also strength
We can’t say be a man
And then treat him like a child whose problems we step in to solve
We can’t say be a man
Yet then doubt his ability to do just that
Because he doesn’t need a manager for his life
He doesn’t need someone to tell him how to do it
But simply to take the time to do it for himself
To take the opportunity to do his own work for his own reasons, his own purpose
To find his own way apart from the desires or expectations of those around him
And to know we have confidence in him while he does just that
Regardless of where it may lead
Yet to step in and try to fix or solve
Is to take away his divine masculinity
His personal essence
And while we should always be his peace
His equal
To do that means we need to see the strength that already exists
The competence in their eyes
And the need to be the warriors of their own lives
Because the burdens in life are placed differently upon the shoulders of men
Yet often questions and doubts reign
As if we need to design the blueprint for their lives so they don’t fuck it up
As if somehow we know more
Better than they do
Yet what it seems to escape some
Is that while he’s a work in progress
He’s not your project to finish
The truth is he’s amazing just as he is
Just as you are
It’s never letting the love grow bigger than both of your independence
So it’s about being there to help
But not control
Being there to support
But not be superior
Being there to inspire
But not take over
Being there to love
But not judge
Because it’s never been about which woman makes him be his best self
But rather the woman that inspires him to become his best self for
So love on him
Let him be the man that he already is
And have the confidence in him to become the man he is destined to be.

Kate Rose

Author’s Note: Kate Rose is an artist, free thinker, lover, writer, passionate yogi, teacher, mother, rule breaker, and rebel. I think Kate Rose is my spirit animal! I love her poetry and mindful ramblings.

Kate recently wrote to me: “Beautiful site and collection of words… stay wild in love.” I feel so honored she took the time to send me an email.

In 2016, I was inspired by her, “We Only “in Love with 3 People in Our Lifetime — Each One for a Specific Reason,” but didn’t know it was hers. Still, I am open to #3….

Though her “3 Loves” has been stolen by many as being their own, she has a book coming out in 2019 on just this topic!