Dear MG

MG,

Are you really Mayra because if you are I wish you would have told me long ago as I would have believed you.

I apologize that you wasted so much time. I didn’t know. Kevin was convincing.

I, too, wasted many months, and stopped seeing several lovely men in the US, Canada, and Europe, as he asked me to be in a committed relationship, and not “mix his energy.”

When you first contacted me I wish you had been straight forward and truthful. At the time we were having lunch near my condo at Barcelona Tapas, we were just friends. It wasn’t until later that I accepted his invitation to be in a committed relationship.

What a fool I was. I believed he was a man of high value.

You indicated you tried to extend an olive branch to me in November of 2018. I did not receive a message from you and I had already broke up with Kevin months before. I am sorry I missed that opportunity to set the record straight.

I ABSOLUTELY believe in the sisterhood rule. However because of the manner in which you initially approached me, and not being straightforwardly you, I was led to believe — by Kevin — it was just baby mama drama, or another ex (Lisa) causing trouble

I now know better.

The entire time you harassed me, I simply wanted to know who you really were. And you were unwilling to give me that.

The reason I ultimately broke if off with him, in part, had to do with the stories I heard from business owners, Chefs, and friends when I arrived in Vallarta September after a vacation. I believed them. Also, I was heading that way over the summer due to the fact he was no longer present as he once was. In all the emotional, spiritual, sexual, physical ways you want your man to be there for you. My life is so big and his is so small (by choice) that he no longer served my needs… In fact, perhaps, he never did, but there was something about his sweet spirit I was drawn to. I believed I had something to learn from him. (Not the lesson I imagined.) I was perfectly happy living my best life and it took him quite the courting and convincing to have me as his own, even after we started seeing each other.

You may never believe me, or never understand why Kevin pursued me and hitched his star to mine for 20+ solid months. In any case, I was in a committed relationship those many months, he obviously wasn’t.

I am quite confident that you are not as evil as you have been portrayed by Kevin, or portrayed yourself to be to me on social media

You are angry. I understand that. Rightfully so.

In desperation, Kevin has called me numerous times in the past few days, as if he has the power to control me. He does not. He demanded that I not come to his shows. Laughable, as I haven’t and if I want to because he is playing with my friends or at clubs or restaurant/bars I frequent with my group of friends, I might. If he is uncomfortable, that is on him.

Though there are many bands and shows I’d rather see. My ritual is to meet gfs and guy friends for dinner/drinks then head out to live music.

Typically NOT reggae. Though I have many videos of Kevin playing at Redneck, Jazz Foundation (where he stopped the band and came to my table to introduce himself), Incanto, Secrets, Solar, Captain Dons, Nacho Daddy, etc. Why? Because I was there with him, and I know the owners.

In any case — as you stated — as one woman to the other, I have no problem throwing a dog under the bus.

I know you think you are superior to me, younger, Latina, curvier, leaner, bustier, whatever. But what you don’t know is I am a bad ass woman in my own right with a heart of gold.

If you are truly raising Kevin’s Diego/Diago, my heart goes out to you. Please, for the future of humanity, teach him how to treat women and be a shining example of the kind of woman you hope he chooses.

Much love, Lori

p.s. If you want a peek into my real life, friend request me with a real profile. You will see I unblocked your MG profile as I have nothing to hide or hide from. You will see we are not so very different you and me.

https://www.facebook.com/Loribum

Send a message telling me why you want to friend request me.

p.s.s. As far as your threat to steal my next man… I understand you are hurt. Still, this is unbecoming. Also, I didn’t steal your man. I NEVER mess with someone else’s man, it’s against my morals. Turn your anger where it should be – the cheating man, not innocent women.

THIS is Poetry

Harassment we’ve survived
Thank Jah we’re alive

Together we’ll rise
Right before your eyes

Resilient and strong
Happy all along

Loving our lives
However they may be
THIS – my life – is poetry

(And may K get poetic justice.)

~ Just L (December 7, 2018)

Author’s Note:

After nearly two years , I broke up with K in September of  2018, after it was brought to my attention he had likely been cheating, and had been seen by business owner friends of mine holding hands with another woman (or women) while I was traveling. He adamantly denied it. I now know why he never wanted to mix business with pleasure. I know the owners and chefs of many venues he played in, but he never wanted to attend their house parties, unless he happened to be the entertainment at their parties. I had suspicions he had been lying to me earlier in late spring of 2018 when his overnights went from nearly every night to 1 or 2x/week. And, he didn’t want to apply for a second tourist Visa to travel outside of Mexico.  Still, he told me everything was fine between us. He insisted, as from the beginning, he was simply trying to slowly withdraw his hand fro the lion’s mouth. He asserted the only reason he engaged his youngest baby mama at all was to appease her because her family was powerful, helped him out, etc. I had no reason not to believe this as I had heard him many times talk on the phone with all of his son’s mothers. But, it wasn’t fine between us. He seemed increasingly depressed and distant.  I could no longer trust he had my heart or best interest at heart. All of his sad stories about not wanting our photos public because his “baby mama” will cause trouble is just that – sad and B.S.. The reason he doesn’t want the hundreds of photos, videos, photos with my friends and family, and photos and videos of us with his friends and band mates is because he’ll get caught in his web of lies.

I truly believed he was sincere, a man of high value. After all,  I was living my best life when he worked hard to pursue me. In April of 2017, we took a trip to Yelapa to spend time with the owner and his wife of the restaurant my daughter manages. They liked him. He was insufferably shy, but seemed genuine in his intentions. They “approved” and it gave me the confidence to accept his courting as genuine. After some convincing by K, I broke if off with others  I had been dating to be in a committed relationship with him.

All the while,  I lived my fabulous life out loud, while K kept himself separate from his room mates, band mates, and others we knew in common…. I went out on the town more often with them than I did him. Heck, they spent nights at my casa!

At least the other male sluts he runs with are upfront about their ways. And, hey I am not one to slut shame. Two consenting adults can do whatever they want! Geez, just read my poetry. lol

Throughout 2017 until Valentine’s Day of 2018 was glorious. After that he seemed troubled, less free. I believed it was his concern for his ailing mother, and I offered to fly him home. He refused. I was led to believe it was his youngest baby mama causing trouble, and he feared he would not be able to come to the US to play at Reggae on the River or the NW World Reggae Festival, or the many connections I had leveraged for him through out the summer (low season in Vallarta). By the end of summer 2018, he was a mess.

Since I broke up with him in September of 2018, the harassment and  bullying by the same person who has been harassing me since March of 2017, under several fake names, ramped up exponentially. My fishing here (on a page I have complete control of, as I would never use my social media in this way as I am too well known) was an attempt to find out the genuine identity of this person. I even went so far as to post photos that could only be seen by her IP to incite her and ferret her out., as I knew a call from K would quickly follow. (After all when he/she first contacted me they did under false pretense, I was not yet seriously involved with K, and, of course, I believed his story about his “baby mama.”) Now I had people  trusted reporting sightings of him and several others holding hands…

Look, I call many of my friends — male and female — love, bb, doll, beautiful, princess, handsome, sexy — this was very different.

As my very wise 28-year-old daughter said to me today, “Mom. pay attention to the red flags the first time appear, no matter how much time you spend together… If he cannot meet you half way, he will never be there when you truly need him.”

So proud I raised her.

K indicates (as of today, December 7, 2018) that he has a NEW girlfriend. He actually called me three times today to make this point! Good for him. Bad for you.

I married a narcissist once. He took all of my money and almost had me killed by a motorcycle gang. He thought he was untouchable with a law degree. Many years later he is no one , unable to practice law, and the very people who once threatened me (because he was indeed scum) and I are all close friends, some of us are even in the same ministry.

Suffice to say, I have learned my lesson. Walk away from men who are incapable of love and respect.

K told me on the phone today he wants me to stay away from his shows…. This is laughable as I have lived in Vallarta much longer than he has, have more influence in the community, and have many musician friends across all genres and in many countries. (Have you seen my Instagram?) He’ll have to figure out how to work his life around me. I have no need to change or hide or lie.

And to the bully who keeps on putting me down on physical characteristics. I am 55, beautiful on the inside, and have no need to tear down other women. Embrace maturity. You, too, will be my age someday. It’s pretty great!

To K, I pray you find your way back to your core Christian and Rasta values and light that once shined so bright.

To my fans, never fear, love is every where, and I am enjoying the company of a few good men.

The bully seemed to want to make a big deal about me being married three times, and yet, she is with a man who has three sons with three different women.

As I have grown in my confidence and career, I seem to be drawn to narcissistic men. I seem to mistake it for confidence. I am drawn to men who are intelligent, and have a good sense of humor. I am very good friends with my first husband and we co-raised a beautiful, savvy daughter. For 28 years, she has been my teacher every day since her birth. Her father was at my home in Oregon with my family for Thanksgiving. My second husband was a true heart-connection that I thought would last forever. He valued family, was a talented musician, and we shared much in 10 years. But after I was raped by his rock idol’s band (See “Who Me? Yes, You.for that story) 8 months after we were married, and he started doing meth every day to avoid the reality, the relationship was not repairable.  My third husband, love bombed me, joined my church, infiltrated every corner of my life, and then used me and my assets/wealth to pursue his three mistresses, one of which he left me for. The best thing that ever happened to me!

I share this so that you know I am human. Far be it from me that I would judge you.  One of my favorite quotes:

“Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, she would never have been able to find these words.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke

I am not naive; yet, I want to believe the best of others because I believe that others are as  true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable as my own family.

Still, at age 55, I am always surprised to find this is not the case at all.

And, after all this soul bearing, this is what she has to say. Seriously?!

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I didn’t steal anyone’s man. Apparently, he wasn’t yours to begin with.

Selah.

Or as my bestie said best, “Fuck him.”

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Beware this one.
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On the yacht, after K was given a place at their wedding,  September 2017, and when in Vallarta your First Sergeant son senses something is wrong, it is.

 

You’re a Clinger

Someone deep in my past
Still holds a torch
Wants to burn my love down
Tho’ she’ll be scorched.

Trying too hard
After she’s been caught
Fake profiles shut down
Has her twisted in knots

She doesn’t realize
She’s already lost
Thinks she’s superior
But she’s not the boss

Ms. Mexico won’t accept
I have a woman genuine
A heart of gold
To everyone kind

I’ve worn gold non-stop
On my left ring finger
So the only thing you prove
Is you’re a clinger.

~ Just L  (December 6, 2018)

Author’s Note: After two years of being harassed, I am entertained by how hard you try. He is not worth this fight. He has nothing to offer and the sex isn’t anything to write home about, let alone fight over. You do know I broke up with him, right?

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

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Clearly, he likes pancakes.

6284021B-2840-423D-922B-983EC9690258Haters are fun to troll but don’t waste too much energy. Keep being fabulous.

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Thank you, Next.

Morning Love

I awake, feel behind me
To find you’re not there
You are closing the curtains
To block out the sun’s glare

“I have to pee”
A morning ritual
Pat your naked booty
So simple and natural

I smell your pillow
A smile crosses my face
Cloves and guava root
You fill the whole place

I close my eyes
Note your shadow above
I know what comes next
“Morning love”

First we fork
Then we spoon
Entangled in blankets
Until well after noon

Your arm around me
Holding me tight
I scoot a lil’ closer
The world is just right.

~ Just L (December 6, 2018)

An Open Letter to a Cyber Bully – Caught!

It finally happened. “He” and I catfished the catfish!

MG Caught At Last

While she was chatting with ‘her, herself and other she’ (AKA MG, Lola and Steven) posting that she was going to cuddle “him” (somewhere around  7 and 8 am Jalisco, Mexico time ) this morning (Wednesday, December 5, 2018), I called “him” and we talked while posts continued…

December call

And magically, as if on cue, just a little while later, she, pretending to be “him” from a fake Instagram profile commented on one of my photos.

Bwoy

We all know that “he” did not quickly make a new Instagram profile in order to comment on my photo while we were talking!

BOOM.

Bu Bye MG

buh bye.

“You may return to your embroidery. ” – A quote from the movie, Braveheart

Thank you readers (and especially my followers who are notified with each new blog post) for your patience over the past two months. I know this has been ugly. I have deleted all of the posts used to reel her in. I shall now return to writing about loving sparkly humans!!!

~ Just L (December 5, 2018)

via An Open Letter to a Cyber Bully

From Mental Floss:

Gudgeon: Of all the naiveté-describing words, this one might have the best origin story. Since the 1400s, gudgeon has been a word for a small fish used mainly as bait. Since careless fish swallow that bait, this evolved into a word for people who will swallow anything. By the 1500s, gudgeons were being discussed alongside fools—not a flattering ilk. You can also say that the gullible gape for gudgeons or swallow a gudgeon. An 1892 use from the National Observer reflects the term’s fishy origin: “It has educated Hodge into an increased readiness to gorge any gudgeon that may be offered him.”

Why Do Some People Attract So Many Mosquitoes?

It’s not a competition
But if it is, I’ve won
I am living the dream
And it’s only just begun

I’ve been used and betrayed
And poked in the eye
I confidently fix my crown
My head and my heels high

I smell like cotton candy
My skin is just as sweet
Small minds want a taste
Their otherwise incomplete

Mocked, misunderstood
For my great happiness
Pests cannot lift up others
Cannot comprehend this

My fairy tale was burst long ago
It seems overrated and overdone
I’ve had lovers in 14 countries
Though I’d settle for a lifetime with the right one

I’m attracted to sparkly humans
The kind and the generous in spirit
Pure intentions with a moral compass
And someone who’s a bit satiric

Give me one who is well-rounded
Equal parts naughty and nice
Some PDA? Yes please…
Don’t have to ask me twice!

Beaches, fireworks, roller coasters
Concerts, travel, wine and food
Or snuggles by a crackling fire
Gets me in the mood

Oh, I’ve been loved and hated
By men, but mostly women
Jealousy is a terrible disease
Glad I haven’t been bitten 

I adore my female friends
We lift each other up
And slather on insect repellent
Sharing life lessons and makeup

My heart remains soft
Much like my well-chosen words
Honestly, I curse a little (or a lot)
But hate and bigotry is never deserved

I’ll age like fine wine
As I have no bitter roots
Beauty and old are not mutually exclusive
Occasionally I rock thigh-high boots

I have done my time in an office
Traded the boardroom to become a Goddess
Overcame challenges, too many me, toos
What, you expect me to be modest?!

I don’t care what others think
My character and integrity are gold
I’ve worked in war-torn countries
Like a lioness I am bold

My adult children are my heart
They are better versions of me
My parents are shining examples
How good a life lived well can be

It’s not a competition
But if it is, I’ve won
I live my life out loud
Because at 55, it’s just begun!

~Just L (December 4, 2018)

Author’s Note: A little love and silliness is the best antidote for pests!