What if we were meant to be forever after
In spite of the story to date
In separate bedrooms, down the street filled with laughter
Perhaps our match Doula knew us deeper
Watched you for a full year before our introduction
Knowing full well you were a keeper
What if we split too soon due to a breakdown in communication
Our egos and preconceived ideas erecting an insurmountable wall
Misreading what was between us really goin’ on
Recall my dearest love you were vetted for a year
You fit me in every way and in my family with ease
Everyone we knew found us sparkly, trustworthy and dear
Our paths crossed long before we were introduced across the bar
Given all of the R&D, no wonder we felt mutually drawn
Six weeks later I exclaimed my love under NYE stars
Never a fight or unkind word until I experienced my most abnormal
I lashed out, and was angry for something misinterpreted
And a medical emergency beyond my control
You vowed you would never leave a love in sickness
After all, the one who broke your heart did just that
Then you cut me off as you could not go the distance
I freaked the f* out as this was not how I imagined
We were, after all the love, over in an instant
One more conversation, we could have been a legend.
~Just L (July 10, 2019)
What if I were to sit next to you
Would you want to kiss me?
Let it be easy
Instead of playing cool —
What if our togetherness was fated
From the beginning?
We didn’t fear leaning in
Finding our differences miniscule –-
What if everything since
Was a holding place?
To make us better face-to-face
A long distance relationship school –-
What if we (’ve) matured
Fully trusting each other?
Drop the ego cover
F* the few who are cruel —
What if you were assured
We would do the distance?
Could you drop your resistance
Dare to be the happiest fool —
What if you lived your words,
“Lasting relationships take work”?
Too many throw in the towel *smirk*
Newer (read: don’t know the real you) is not life’s jewel —
What if we embraced togetherness
Safe inside a fortress wall?
Imagine a love overhaul
True happiness, no one dare ridicule —
What if we retained our space
Two wings in the same castle?
Fully entwined without the hassle
Separated by miles, rooms or a pool —
What if we found the balance
‘tween intimacy and independence?
Questioning everything since
That other band from Liverpool —
What if you assume the worst
Put defeat before the horse?
And let it take its course
I’d challenge you to a duel —
What if the world applauded us
Dare to be true to our heart
Or embarrassed by the time apart?
When did you follow the rules?
If you were to sit next to me
I would need to kiss you
It’s nothing new
I don’t know how to be cool.
~ Just L (July 10, 2019)
Author’s Note: Listen to “Sit Next To Me” by Foster The People
You are cool as a cucumber
Until Aries enters the house
Warming your starchy skin
in a pair of worn Levi Strauss
I love freedom and risk
You landlocked by protocol
a contradictory coupling, we helplessly fall
First child’s flame singes virgin wings
Ever challenging your M.O.
Too easy when your taste for the exotic
is Jicama, aka the Mexican potato
Craving each other with every fiber
Our attraction feels so fated
Impossible to resist the razor’s edge
between being loved and hated
~ Just L (July 8, 2019)
We made a match
Had a short chat
He’s smart, stylish
And has a cat.
Cool and confident
Know I’m a catch
I put myself online
Set to be attached.
“Meet up tonight?”
Finding myself in his hood
Shared backstories and kisses
This is too good.
My heart receptive
Spirit strong and light
Breathing in the moment
Aware of fight or flight.
Open and kind
And, I kinda like him
He, too, feel the weight of?
~Just L (May 19, 2019)
Author’s Note: Simply tracking the subtle opening and closing of my heart after initiating a connection. Is the Universe conspiring to accelerate gravity? Naaah, it won’t last.
1. The moment you realize that the person you cared for has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you, but a headache.
2. The moment you realize God had greater plans for you that don’t involve crying at night or sad.
3. The moment you stop comparing yourself to others because it undermines your worth, education and your parent’s wisdom.
4. The moment you live your dreams, not because of what it will prove or get you, but because that is all you want to do. People’s opinions don’t matter.
5. The moment you realize that no one is your enemy, except yourself.
6. The moment you realize that you can have everything you want in life. However, it takes timing, the right heart, the right actions, the right passion and a willingness to risk it all. If it is not yours, it is because you really didn’t want it, need it or God prevented it.
7. The moment you realize the ghost of your ancestors stood between you and the person you loved. They really don’t want you mucking up the family line with someone that acts anything less than honorable.
8. The moment you realize that happiness was never about getting a person. They are only a helpmate towards achieving your life mission.
9. The moment you believe that love is not about losing or winning. It is just a few moments in time, followed by an eternity of situations to grow from.
10. The moment you realize that you were always the right person. Only ignorant people walk away from greatness.
~Shannon L. Alder
When I saw you
Make a life
Shared the same heart
Missed each other
Our lips met
You didn’t see me.
~Just L (January 22, 2019)
Too many women I know have stood or prayerfully waited for too long, thinking that they are doing the right thing, the good thing, even the God thing: NEVER SETTLE for anything less than extraordinary. If you are not in a relationship where EVERY DAY you feel loved, ADORED, cherished, and that it is made abundantly clear by his actions that you are the best thing ever to happen to him, imperfectly perfect yet perfectly suited, a blessing, BEAUTIFUL, sexy, appreciated, AMAZING, full, sated… depending on the circumstances, fix it right now, or ruuuuun. Don’t look back at your life, your journals, the signs… and say, “OMG, I should have never accepted that and/or left that three years earlier!” Let us instead pray dangerously —wantonly, lustily, passionately— let us demand with every ounce of our strength, FREEDOM!
~ Just L (Goddess Wisdom, a re-post from January 19, 2012)
Every morning you wake up with someone you love, take a moment to be amazed they are there beside you, be grateful you are alive to bear witness to another day of living and loving another human, be fascinated by this person who was vulnerable enough to wake up beside you– be it one night or one thousand times one thousand nights– place your hands over each other on your heart and embrace this sweet present so many long for. And if one morning you awake and they are gone forever, miss them, but do not ache for them.
~ Just L (Goddess Wisdom, January 14, 2019)
I want someone who holds my hand as tightly as they hold my heart;
And misses me desperately when we are apart.
I want someone who adores their life and family
And embraces every moment honestly.
I want someone who is silly and can laugh;
And yet willing to fight on my behalf.
I want someone who fearlessly lives with integrity;
And is open to forge a shared destiny.
I want someone who finds joy in the present;
And one whose soul is luminescent.
I want someone who wants to grow old with me
Without ever growing old, you see.
~ Just L (December 31, 2018)
Author’s Note: I want more.
This year went sideways
Yet I’ve never felt straighter
Survived the mistake of my life
And outshined the haters
I put off worthy suitors
Accumulated abdominal fat
Ignoring my stress levels
For one who was not all that
A talented musician
But a mediocre lover
His ‘sweet’ disposition
An intricate cover
Thrilled I’m not entangled
For a lifetime with this mess
Or have to depend on him
For anything serious
Blinded by early sparks
Red flags I ignored
Committing for too long
To one to be deplored
I entrusted my soul
To an unworthy man
Killing me softly with his song
When I should’ve ran
As 2018 comes to an end
I am so happy it’s over
Not to be entangled for life
With this free loader
~ Just L (December 22, 2018)
Author’s Note: They say the love of your life often comes after the mistake of your life. Here’s to 2019!