Why did you give up on us?
Why did you make a point of pointing out others who had?
On you, or in general?
In good times or bad.
Why do lovers say stupid shit they don’t mean?
I fell for your philosophical line.
I’d rather you had stated your truth,
“I’m only in this for 50 nighttimes.”
Why did you give up on your dream?
The one before the two times before?
Did you want to be alone?
Then why are you knocking at my door?
~ Just L (October 31, 2019)
An unplanned adventure
Throwing caution to the wind
If only to hold her
Plane ticket to Honolulu
On a moment’s notice
He has some powerful juju
Mai Tais on the beach
Cool R&B and warm breezes
Nothing’s out of reach
~ Just L (October 18, 2019)
I can shout at your T Cells like we’re cheering on the Ducks
I’ll let you choose your ideal setting on the thermostat
Ride or die, I get down like that.
I can sit quietly with you
Or read graphic novels to pass the time
Make finger puppets on the ceiling or pantomime.
You’ll be frocked in a cold stress inducing sweat
I’ll layer in style to cover my pot belly
Both so fashionably forward no one is jelly.
I’ll chew tinfoil and drink protein shakes to match our tastes
Flush twice after going number two
Because sharing experiences are what sweethearts do.
Your bodily fluids don’t scare me
I shat my pants emceeing an event just last week
Babies and kittens are not the only origin stories for bleach.
Your new odor signature won’t bother a bit
I’ll remember when you smelled like mine
Touching you gently and kissing you open mouth anytime.
~ Just L (October 6, 2019)
What if we were meant to be forever after
In spite of the story to date
In separate bedrooms, down the street filled with laughter
Perhaps our match Doula knew us deeper
Watched you for a full year before our introduction
Knowing full well you were a keeper
What if we split too soon due to a breakdown in communication
Our egos and preconceived ideas erecting an insurmountable wall
Misreading what was between us really goin’ on
Recall my dearest love you were vetted for a year
You fit me in every way and in my family with ease
Everyone we knew found us sparkly, trustworthy and dear
Our paths crossed long before we were introduced across the bar
Given all of the R&D, no wonder we felt mutually drawn
Six weeks later I exclaimed my love under NYE stars
Never a fight or unkind word until I experienced my most abnormal
I lashed out, and was angry for something misinterpreted
And a medical emergency beyond my control
You vowed you would never leave a love in sickness
After all, the one who broke your heart did just that
Then you cut me off as you could not go the distance
I freaked the f* out as this was not how I imagined
We were, after all the love, over in an instant
One more conversation, we could have been a legend.
~Just L (re-post 3 years and 5 month after our breakup, July 10, 2019)
What if I were to sit next to you
Would you want to kiss me?
Let it be easy
Instead of playing cool —
What if our togetherness was fated
From the beginning?
We didn’t fear leaning in
Finding our differences miniscule –-
What if everything since
Was a holding place?
To make us better face-to-face
A long distance relationship school –-
What if we (’ve) matured
Fully trusting each other?
Drop the ego cover
F* the few who are cruel —
What if you were assured
We would do the distance?
Could you drop your resistance
Dare to be the happiest fool —
What if you lived your words,
“Lasting relationships take work”?
Too many throw in the towel *smirk*
Newer (read: don’t know the real you) is not life’s jewel —
What if we embraced togetherness
Safe inside a fortress wall?
Imagine a love overhaul
True happiness, no one dare ridicule —
What if we retained our space
Two wings in the same castle?
Fully entwined without the hassle
Separated by miles, rooms or a pool —
What if we found the balance
‘tween intimacy and independence?
Questioning everything since
That other band from Liverpool —
What if you assume the worst
Put defeat before the horse?
And let it take its course
I’d challenge you to a duel —
What if the world applauded us
Dare to be true to our heart
Or embarrassed by the time apart?
When did you follow the rules?
If you were to sit next to me
I would need to kiss you
It’s nothing new
I don’t know how to be cool.
~ Just L (July 10, 2019)
Author’s Note: Listen to “Sit Next To Me” by Foster The People
You are cool as a cucumber
Until Aries enters the house
Warming your starchy skin
in a pair of worn Levi Strauss
I love freedom and risk
You landlocked by protocol
a contradictory coupling, we helplessly fall
First child’s flame singes virgin wings
Ever challenging your M.O.
Too easy when your taste for the exotic
is Jicama, aka the Mexican potato
Craving each other with every fiber
Our attraction feels so fated
Impossible to resist the razor’s edge
between being loved and hated
~ Just L (July 8, 2019)
We made a match
Had a short chat
He’s smart, stylish
And has a cat.
Cool and confident
Know I’m a catch
I put myself online
Set to be attached.
“Meet up tonight?”
Finding myself in his hood
Shared backstories and kisses
This is too good.
My heart receptive
Spirit strong and light
Breathing in the moment
Aware of fight or flight.
Open and kind
And, I kinda like him
He, too, feel the weight of?
~Just L (May 19, 2019)
Author’s Note: Simply tracking the subtle opening and closing of my heart after initiating a connection. Is the Universe conspiring to accelerate gravity? Naaah, it won’t last.