prose

Dignity ˈdignitē/ noun

~ Just L ~ Leave a comment

Dignity
/ˈdignitē/ noun

1. The moment you realize that the person you cared for has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you, but a headache.

2. The moment you realize God had greater plans for you that don’t involve crying at night or sad.

3. The moment you stop comparing yourself to others because it undermines your worth, education and your parent’s wisdom.

4. The moment you live your dreams, not because of what it will prove or get you, but because that is all you want to do. People’s opinions don’t matter.

5. The moment you realize that no one is your enemy, except yourself.

6. The moment you realize that you can have everything you want in life. However, it takes timing, the right heart, the right actions, the right passion and a willingness to risk it all. If it is not yours, it is because you really didn’t want it, need it or God prevented it.

7. The moment you realize the ghost of your ancestors stood between you and the person you loved. They really don’t want you mucking up the family line with someone that acts anything less than honorable.

8. The moment you realize that happiness was never about getting a person. They are only a helpmate towards achieving your life mission.

9. The moment you believe that love is not about losing or winning. It is just a few moments in time, followed by an eternity of situations to grow from.

10. The moment you realize that you were always the right person. Only ignorant people walk away from greatness.

~Shannon L. Alder

Never Settle

~ Just L ~ Leave a comment

Too many women I know have stood or prayerfully waited for too long, thinking that they are doing the right thing, the good thing, even the God thing: NEVER SETTLE for anything less than extraordinary. If you are not in a relationship where EVERY DAY you feel loved, ADORED, cherished, and that it is made abundantly clear by his actions that you are the best thing ever to happen to him, imperfectly perfect yet perfectly suited, a blessing, BEAUTIFUL, sexy, appreciated, AMAZING, full, sated… depending on the circumstances, fix it right now, or ruuuuun. Don’t look back at your life, your journals, the signs… and say, “OMG, I should have never accepted that and/or left that three years earlier!” Let us instead pray dangerously —wantonly, lustily, passionately— let us demand with every ounce of our strength, FREEDOM!

~ Just L (Goddess Wisdom, a re-post from January 19, 2012)

Miss Them, But Do Not Ache For Them

~ Just L ~ Leave a comment

Every morning you wake up with someone you love, take a moment to be amazed they are there beside you, be grateful you are alive to bear witness to another day of living and loving another human, be fascinated by this person who was vulnerable enough to wake up beside you– be it one night or one thousand times one thousand nights– place your hands over each other on your heart and embrace this sweet present so many long for. And if one morning you awake and they are gone forever, miss them, but do not ache for them.

~ Just L (Goddess Wisdom, January 14, 2019)

Trembliiing

~ Just L ~ 1 Comment

She notiiiced the tremors were getttting worse

This terrrrified her

She had always relied on her intelllligence

Yet this requiiired her hands to work

After all, for 25 years she has writttten for a liviiing

But after her BMW kissssed a freight truck last November

Before that delightful triiip to Italy and France

To write about love and wiiine and her passion for hiiigh fashion

She had to hiiire an editor.

~Just L (September 28, 2018)

After Afore

~ Just L ~ Leave a comment

11:11 am

I step out of the shower
Conscious not to slip on the tile
I glance at the microwave
11:11, it blinks
Make a wish
If only I could go back to that grateful poem
The one I wrote in January, I think
I select a pink dry-fit dress
Put my hair in a high pony
Anti-aging eye cream in spite of the humidity

1:08 pm

The heat of the day beats down on my shoulders
The convertible top down and the wind in my hair
I am headed on a picnic with friends
Where hummingbirds linger just a little longer than elsewhere
The water tastes of Hibiscus
A trio of shrimp tacos is delicious
The scent of summer rain is heavy in the air
My friends smoke a joint and laugh without a care
I retreat to my own thoughts for a while
And mimic listening.

5:25 pm

I stare at my computer screen
Trying to calculate the extortion rate of my life and love
Or trying to write a business plan for a client
Pretty much the same thing at the moment
There is no poetry in this task
I grieve the immense loss of a place I once had
Before trust was shattered, afore I dared ask
My resilient thick skin is wearing thin
I start to cry
Must I fight vulnerability? Do I give up or give in?

8:25 pm

Right now I am thankful for the rain shower head
I wash my hair as if I am shooting a commercial
I need these 5 minutes however superficial
If I had a bathtub I’d likely sell suds swimsuits
Sauvignon Blanc meet Mr. Bubble
I meticulously shave to remove all stubble
Why do women go through this ritual?
As if I expect a suitor to knock at my door
We’re nowhere near the fun, f*ck, and eat stage
A worn out sleep T is hardly a magic elixir.

1:16 am

For the first time in many weeks I’m relaxed
Sunk deep into the goose down mattress topper
I feel both heavy and high
In that moment before falling fast asleep
When the anesthesiologist tells you to count backwards from 10
9, 8, 7….
Right before I drift to Never-never Land
I feel a cool breeze graze the fine hairs on my spine
I smile
Everything is going to be just fine.

Everything is just fine.
It always is.

~Just L (September 27, 2018)

Ditch The List

~ Just L ~ Leave a comment

I am notorious for making lists. To-do lists, wish lists, lists of gaps in my wardrobe or decor, client deadline lists, etc. I am to a fault highly organized and punctual.

I also have a repution for living my life with a can-do spirit and abundant optimism. So much so Lori’s “la la land” was where people thought I lived 30+ years before it became a popular musical.

This week a pastor and author friend sent me this kind message: “I was thinking about you yesterday. It’s amazing to me how you have gone through so many trials and tribulations and still come through them on top, optimistic, energetic, beautiful, and looking to the future. Love being around you – which hasn’t happened enough lately!  … Could use a Lori fix.”

His note immediately lifted my spirits, but more than that it caused me to pause and think about how I navigate the world with such resilience, joy, and dare I say grace?!

After all, I am asked this very question (How do you navigate the world with…) quite often as if I know a secret or have discovered an elusive formula.

I have lots of answers: Forgive early and often, follow your bliss, make yourself happy first, only give from your overflow, be grateful, enjoy the present, grieve as long as it takes… the list goes on.

Throw out your list!

A longer list doesn’t make you more productive. In fact, you may find if you ignore your sacred to-do list for two weeks or a month, many of the items are no longer important.

I actually discovered this while living in Mexico for six months last year as when I returned home to six months of mail, I realized only about 5% of it required my attention.

Do you have a list of things you’ve promised to do for other people? Is it so big it causes you anxiety? Are you on this list anywhere?

I am not giving you permission to not keep your word. I believe strongly your word is your bond. I am not ignoring that we all have obligations, which very often are quite challenging. What I am saying is … asking rather, “Why are you signing up for things that you are not passionate about?” Guess what? Other people are likely passionate about some of the very tasks you are slogging through. Stop filling the space and feeling resentful. Get out of their way, for God’s sake.

As a very competent and capable person I know firsthand it is easy to fall into the trap of volunteering for everything. Stop it.

Whenever you say yes to something you are saying no to something else. Too often it is you (or your family), or a longer-term dream.

Do I still make lists? Of course, I do! But more often than not –  unless it is a shopping list – I write it down and never look back.

These days I am too (hmmm, busy is certainly not the right word, though some who do not know me well think I am always busy) enthralled with speaking dreams into the Universe and watching with awe how the Universe conspires to help me achieve it.

I have found that putting me first is the best way for me to be my best self and better to and for others.

Write that down.

~Just L (September 20, 2018, Goddess Wisdom)

 

Reflections on 1977

~ Just L ~ Leave a comment

In 1977 (8th grade), I thought I was more brains than beauty, my limbs were too long, my nose was too big, my breasts were too small, my (23″) waist wasn’t small enough… Today, at age 55, I know that I had everything I needed. Just add a bigger smile.

Embrace it all. Now. Do not let another day go by without loving ALL of you!

~Just L (July 7, 2018, Goddess Wisdom)

1977

7455076C-3C6E-45BB-95FD-C539F61C0170.jpeg

2018

83C7AF29-15F3-42CD-8292-1F112E2A4054.jpeg

All For You

~ Just L ~ Leave a comment

All For You

I dreamed of you. I looked for you. I stopped seeking you. I saw you. I walked up to you. I talked to you. I thought about you. I was hexed by you. I text you. I met up with you. I ate with you. I kissed you. I spent days with you. I danced with you. I fancied you. I watched you. I wooed you.  I was amazed by you. I was slayed by you. I said good bye to you. I believed in you. I made videos for you. I invited you. I welcomed you. I introduced you. I walked with you. I have cooked for you. I sang to you. I called you. I crawled beside you. I asked you. I basked in you. I loved you. I made love to you. I unraveled you. I traveled with you. I slept with you. I wept for you. I want you. I waited for you. I was made for you.

~ Just L (July 1, 2018)