What is it about me?


And she replied,

I can, and have. I am at a very free stage in my life. I have been deeply in love and I have had my heart broken. I have spent the last year guarded, practicing my yoga, and in reflection. I have done my fair share of playing, but when pursued, a small voice keeps pushing back, and telling me to wait for that spark.

You said that our first four days felt like fourteen years – that you felt like you had known me forever. I share that feeling.

I sense that I have something, perhaps many things to learn from you. And in turn, about me.

I am, of course, still getting to know you. I believe in the law of attraction. Something deeply draws me to you. I like that you are traveled, articulate, care about your health, and are spiritual. We share a passion for music of all kinds. You are talented and passionate about what you do. Family is a priority. You have an adventurous spirit like me, and yet you are peaceful and can be comfortably present and quiet. I like that very much.

My hand fits in yours perfectly, and in your arms feels like home in the sense that I don’t have to think much at all.

~ Just L (from a simpler time, published November 25, 2018)

Ditch The List

I am notorious for making lists. To-do lists, wish lists, lists of gaps in my wardrobe or decor, client deadline lists, etc. I am to a fault highly organized and punctual.

I also have a repution for living my life with a can-do spirit and abundant optimism. So much so Lori’s “la la land” was where people thought I lived 30+ years before it became a popular musical.

This week a pastor and author friend sent me this kind message: “I was thinking about you yesterday. It’s amazing to me how you have gone through so many trials and tribulations and still come through them on top, optimistic, energetic, beautiful, and looking to the future. Love being around you – which hasn’t happened enough lately!  … Could use a Lori fix.”

His note immediately lifted my spirits, but more than that it caused me to pause and think about how I navigate the world with such resilience, joy, and dare I say grace?!

After all, I am asked this very question (How do you navigate the world with…) quite often as if I know a secret or have discovered an elusive formula.

I have lots of answers: Forgive early and often, follow your bliss, make yourself happy first, only give from your overflow, be grateful, enjoy the present, grieve as long as it takes… the list goes on.

Throw out your list!

A longer list doesn’t make you more productive. In fact, you may find if you ignore your sacred to-do list for two weeks or a month, many of the items are no longer important.

I actually discovered this while living in Mexico for six months last year as when I returned home to six months of mail, I realized only about 5% of it required my attention.

Do you have a list of things you’ve promised to do for other people? Is it so big it causes you anxiety? Are you on this list anywhere?

I am not giving you permission to not keep your word. I believe strongly your word is your bond. I am not ignoring that we all have obligations, which very often are quite challenging. What I am saying is … asking rather, “Why are you signing up for things that you are not passionate about?” Guess what? Other people are likely passionate about some of the very tasks you are slogging through. Stop filling the space and feeling resentful. Get out of their way, for God’s sake.

As a very competent and capable person I know firsthand it is easy to fall into the trap of volunteering for everything. Stop it.

Whenever you say yes to something you are saying no to something else. Too often it is you (or your family), or a longer-term dream.

Do I still make lists? Of course, I do! But more often than not –  unless it is a shopping list – I write it down and never look back.

These days I am too (hmmm, busy is certainly not the right word, though some who do not know me well think I am always busy) enthralled with speaking dreams into the Universe and watching with awe how the Universe conspires to help me achieve it.

I have found that putting me first is the best way for me to be my best self and better to and for others.

Write that down.

~Just L (September 20, 2018, Goddess Wisdom)


Reflections on 1977

In 1977 (8th grade), I thought I was more brains than beauty, my limbs were too long, my nose was too big, my breasts were too small, my (23″) waist wasn’t small enough… Today, at age 55, I know that I had everything I needed. Just add a bigger smile.

Embrace it all. Now. Do not let another day go by without loving ALL of you!

~Just L (July 7, 2018, Goddess Wisdom)





You are not a happy person if…


If it kills you that your ex is happier with another person than s/he ever was with you, chances are you are not a happy person.

~Just L (February 10, 2018, Goddess Wisdom reprinted from 2008)

Author’s Note: Start there. Learn to love yourself first. Bitter doesn’t get more beautiful with age. Self-loathing will destroy you (and your children’s/ future love’s) life. Ultimately, you are only punishing yourself.

“You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen. But if you are still beautiful at sixty, it will be your souls own doing.” ~Marie Carmichael Stopes (1880-1958)

“At midlife I’m having to recognize that there are people I may never be reconciled with. People I loved dearly but we went as far as we could go together. We loved; we tried; that may have to be enough. ~Zana, poet, artist, author of herb woman

“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.” -William Penn

Thoughts from a chair in France

Seeing all of the #grateful posts (on Facebook and other social media) and my own grateful posts of years’ past, I am simply grateful that I am in another season. I know my life looks extraordinary and too often extraordinarily easy. To those who know and love me, they know this isn’t necessarily so. Some days are quite a bit more difficult than they have ever been. Still, I am blessed to have an extraordinary life interrupted by a few ordinary days. Today, as I am wrapped in a comforter in the sitting room of a sweet flat in France, I am embracing both the ordinary and the extraordinary. Anywhere you are all this requires is your attention to it. Alas, I have grown in wisdom and grace. My heart bursts with an abundance of love. I have learned to be gentle with myself. This is not the opposite of being hard on oneself. Being kind to yourself is a necessity. Some days I feel anxious but I am not afraid. I live boldly in spite of many limitations. On the days I feel soul-weary or dead tired, I continue to create beautiful thoughts and shine light in dark places. I am honored to inspire others to live more authentically. Still, some of my own dark places I shut away. When the pain pops up every now and then, I count my blessings and I try very hard not to compare what others gained by my loss. Grateful I only have to live with my own conscience. Occasionally when met with another’s desperation, I will share a treasure from this vault. After all, all of this has formed me. I used to think of seasons as set points in time (fall, spring, raising young children, my 30’s, etc.). Now I understand that seasons can be arduously long or pass in an instant. For example, I not so long ago experienced the deepest heartbreak, and it seemed to last forever. I felt as if I was falling backwards, and losing ground. Upon reflection, I wonder if it was that relationship which ended so cruelly that had me reeling, or something left buried from every betrayal finally breaking open? That season lasted for more than a year. But, it also brought me into a season of bountiful living, where one decision changed my entire world. Oh, and of course, seasons also cross over each other. One only has to look at our current weather patterns that no longer align with the months I knew as a child. Yet, I am not so concerned with the storms swirling around me when I have peace on the inside. Not just a spiritual peace, but the peace that comes from knowing myself well. Even if no one else ever does understand me. I am grateful that I have loved, nourished, taken time to not just learn about – but be fascinated by – everything that makes me smile, cry, have stars in my eyes, recoil, try harder, jump for joy, and just plain tick, and ticks me off. May your life be as rich as mine.

~Just L (Thoughts from a chair in France, November 5, 2017)

Feeling très French.           (American woman in Nyons)


No Contest

He’d say, “I love you.”

I’d reply, “I love you more.”

To which he’d retort, “It is not a contest.”

No, no contest. I won.

~Just L (June 4, 2017, Goddess Wisdom)


Author’s Note: Sometimes exes really did tell you everything you needed to know, we just weren’t listening.