I Didn’t Even Suck In My Stomach

I saw you on the street
In passing, We embraced
“Hi Sweetheart”…
You introduced me to your “friend”
Beautiful like a tiny painting
With a limp dishrag handshake.

I greeted you full, squarely on
With my usual over-the-top energy
“So great to see you; and meet you”
I didn’t even suck in my stomach
I don’t need your approval,
Or heartache.

~ Just L (February 5, 2019)

You Didn’t See Me

When I saw you
I thought
Could we
Make a life
Together, Happily
We laughed
Shared the same heart
Missed each other
When apart
Not thinking
Our lips met
Reluctantly parting
And yet
I think
You didn’t see me.

~Just L (January 22, 2019)

When You See Someone You Used To Love And They Are A Stranger

On a pub / band crawl with friends in Vallarta, I enter the bar and have to squeeze by you as you were setting up your drums near the crowded entry door…

Wow, Kevin, You could not after two years, muster a simple, “Hello.”

Recall, I was ecstatic with my life in Oregon and having traveled/worked in 14 countries. You, Kevin, are the one who deliberately stopped the band – your band – two years ago to introduce yourself to me.

Two years later, I realize you are the dark one who requires another’s light to shine.

That makes me so sad. When I first met you, you were sparkly, with a wide smile and genuine heart. Between the two of us, we had the whole world. You broke my heart with the promise of your whole heart; all the while you deceived me.

I will never understand how one spends intimate moments, sharing deep love and vivid dreams, and yet can deny the spark that launched a thousand dreams ever happened. You must be really empty if you can spend two years loving a woman, accept every gift (not just ‘things’), and put on record that she is the angel you have been praying for, but cannot spare a second to acknowledge her. That is a sad commentary on your soul. I pray you find your way back to the musical magic that originally jumpstarted your heart.

The fact you could not acknowledge the woman you loved, the one who believed in you so much, she sacrificed her own work-life to help you realize your dreams. The positive-energy woman who led her life out loud with so much enthusiasm for living and love for you that her son and daughter-in-love carved out a special place for you at their wedding table. The faithful woman who regularly made her way across the miles to you and waited for you while you went through the Visa process. The understanding band widow. The one who kept the home fires burning hot so you could fall gently into the quiet retreat of solitude.

You greedily took it all, all the while knowing you would never be able to keep your promises. As there were others who were also this woman.

This is why I left you.

This is certainly why you have lost your manners, and your voice.

The rest will simply be the rest…

~ Just L (January 12, 2019)

Author’s Note: I write poems of love and loss. This is neither of those.

Did he deceive me from the beginning? I will never know. What I do know is the rest of my life will be as fabulous as before he entered it. As for him, all I know for sure is that lack of integrity has a way of making one miserable.

In 2019, I Want Someone

In 2019,

I want someone who holds my hand as tightly as they hold my heart;
And misses me desperately when we are apart.

I want someone who adores their life and family
And embraces every moment honestly.

I want someone who is silly and can laugh;
And yet willing to fight on my behalf.

I want someone who fearlessly lives with integrity;
And is open to forge a shared destiny.

I want someone who finds joy in the present;
And one whose soul is luminescent.

I want someone who wants to grow old with me
Without ever growing old, you see.

~ Just L (December 31, 2018)

Author’s Note: I want more.

love travel

Where Two Rivers Meet the Sea

Tropical flowers are red,
The sky is blue,
The sun is hot,
And so are you.

Water taxis are white,
Yachts are rare,
The water is shiny
And so is your hair.

Roosters crow,
Chickens lay eggs,
Force is strong,
And so are your legs.

Mountains reach,
Up to the skies,
The sand is sparkly,
And so are your eyes.

Iguanas in hedges,
Mean no harm,
Arrival is safe,
And so are your arms.

Locals are pretty,
Guests have style,
My party is winning,
And so is your smile.

Two rivers meet the sea
In southern Jalisco
The Bay is beautiful,
Just like you.

~ Just L (November 29, 2018)

yelapa 2

Author’s Note: Yelapa, Mexico. Yelapa means where two rivers meet the sea.

Jamaican Dreams – Reprise

There is a place by the westward sea — salty sweet. Reggae jazz floods the sidewalk. One Rasta man and an empress — eyes meet. Where the darkest night met the light. And, a new day began.

-Just L (February 25, 2017)

via Jamaican Dreams

A selection from sweeter days with my dark chocolate….

Awash In A Wave (May 26 2018)

Lost in You (May 24, 2018)

The Poetry Between Us (May 22, 2018)

My Distant Love Appears Unannounced (April 18, 2018)

Voices In Our Heads (April 2, 2018)

Unconvinced (July 23, 2018)

September Heat (September 19, 2017)

“All will be fine love” (September 12, 2017)

I Keep The Time (May 9, 2017)

Oh Gloria (April 16, 2017)

There Is A Woman Who Lights Up The Whole Earth (April 13, 2017)

He Speaks Four Languages. We Share One. (April 1, 2017)

Is this what love is made of or does this seem absurd? (March 2, 2017)

World At Her Feet (February 27, 2017)

Thank you for enjoying my 390 poems on love and loss published here since 2015. See the “About Just L” section for my poetry published elsewhere since 1997.

What is it about me?

WHAT IS IT 2

And she replied,

I can, and have. I am at a very free stage in my life. I have been deeply in love and I have had my heart broken. I have spent the last year guarded, practicing my yoga, and in reflection. I have done my fair share of playing, but when pursued, a small voice keeps pushing back, and telling me to wait for that spark.

You said that our first four days felt like fourteen years – that you felt like you had known me forever. I share that feeling.

I am, of course, still getting to know you. I believe in the law of attraction. Something deep draws me to you. I like that you are traveled, articulate, care about your health, and are spiritual. We share a passion for music of all kinds. You are talented and passionate about what you do. Family is a priority. You have an adventurous spirit like me, and yet you are peaceful and can be comfortably present and quiet. I like that very much.

My hand fits in yours perfectly, and in your arms feels like home.

~ Just L (from a simpler time, published November 25, 2018)