But, he

But, he
Is charming
I told you so
That, I know 
Has VIP access
You h…

And, she
I resisted
Clearly not
I didn’t mean to
Or so you thought
I know it won’t last
Betide, woe.

~ Just L (Friday, May 13, 2022)

Personal Life, Politics, and Pinot Blanc – I Would Die 4 U

I have been pondering my personal life, politics, and Pinot Blanc… After all, aren’t they the same thing? ~ Just L (March 9, 2012)

I believe that every single event in life that happens is an opportunity to choose love over fear.” ~Oprah Winfrey

It was one of those days when I was reminded how precious life is.

Prince died today. 57 years-old… four years older than me.

Of course, those who know me, know I love music, but I am not a super fan of those who rise in the ranks of popular culture per se. I’d much rather quote an obscure author any day.

Still, it is today…

Every time I tell someone how old I am — which for some reason has come up in conversation more often than usual as of late — they say, “I hope I look half as good as you at my age.”

I smile, and say, “thank you.” In my heart, I hope they get to love and be loved half as well as I have been loved at my age. I pray they become better not bitter, and can laugh at themselves no matter how talented, beautiful, inspiring they become on any given day. And — most of all – love themselves, on the most crappy days.

In the last week or so, I have lost some relatives who had lived a long life and a few precious friends whose lives were cut too short. The thing that keeps me from being filled with sadness is that I know, without a doubt, these individuals experienced extraordinary, unconditional love. I won’t say their names out of respect for their wishes — which reflects the elegant ways in which they lived their lives — but, their lives are forever etched in the history of my heart, and will live on as I interact with others each day… Hopefully with half as much grace.

So, Prince: A plethora of talent packed into a pint-sized frame.

Many of his songs were a soundtrack to some stellar times….

“Party like it’s 1999,” which was released in 1982, a couple of years after I left high school, and the year after my son was born… was an anthem for New Year’s Eve 1999/2000, as if I had waited 18 years just to be able to give this track it’s proper moment. Only some will understand this.

The week “Purple Rain” was released, I saw the movie twice with two different “suitors” in the same week. They both brought flowers, and respectfully picked me up from my parent’s home. The very same home my parents still live in and love in, together. To this day, I am friends with both of these men who are now married to the love of their lives. I celebrate their extraordinary strength and resilience. Still, I get to hold a sweet memory and a sweet spot for them both from June 1984.

I had a husband who was careless with my heart. The fact is, as a narcissist, he probably never cared. Yet, whenever I think of him jumping out of the Jeep and breaking out some stellar dance moves, while singing (not lip syncing) “Kiss” — I can”t help but smile. It could be at a stop light, in the middle of a sandy jetty, or on a muddy mountain top. Sipping a cherry Slurpee and taking in that show = priceless.

As I sit here, I am recovering from heartbreak. A year and a half ago, I fell in love with the one I thought was to be the love of the second half of my life. We had that Prince New Year moment. You should have seen the way he looked at me. We shared a deep appreciation for music, and being the same age shared insider secrets that seemed to bond us. Finding him was like spotting your first crush at a crowded concert. I can see him in his purple “Prince” shirt now. We were, by all accounts perfect together, until we were not. He simply ceased to exist in my life after a particularly unexplained, difficult night for me. That was a little over two months ago. I have never been so entirely broken. This will take some time.

As I write it is thundering and lightning outside of my expanse of windows to the west. On the Gram, I posted “Nothing like lightning, thunder and warm April showers to send me running across the street to swing at the park! ‪#‎thunderstorm‬ ‪#‎kidatheartforever‬‪#‎thrills‬ ‪#‎simplepleasures‬

In spite of life’s seeming complicated moments where one realizes that intensity is not truth, and too often sadness takes people far ashore, I relish the simple pleasures: Warm rain, fireworks, roller coasters, kissing, and swings. These are a few of my favorite things.

On a night like this where I was running through the rain barefoot and swinging at the park across from my home, everything important comes into focus.

And, as much as I appreciate sharing these universal adventures with people everywhere, the romantic in me believes these are the very things lovers should share…. Whether you are half my age, 53 (me) or 72 (my mother who still adores my father)… These are the moments meant to be shared….  with family, friends, and especially loves. If you are fortunate — your love, as in your “one and only” — who gets you, ride or die, laughs, cries, and protects your solitude relishes these moments as much as you do.

Tonight, now sopping wet and smiling, I sit alone. And write. This is my life: Today.

p.s. I am planning a visit to see my parents in the coming two months, I have a list of people I wish to connect with: To be silly with, to share life stories, and simply be with, because life is too short to take for granted, and I surely do not want to miss a moment of sharing sweet laughter with the ones I love. I have received a few notes from some, and I hope you will plan to share your stories, and even dare to bare your souls, with me. After all, if not now, when?

“Personal Life, Politics, and Pinot Blanc” is a periodic series of ponderings by Just L.

~Ponderings by Just L (April 21, 2016)

#life #prince ##abouthim #love #lovelost