You are not a happy person if…

If it kills you that your ex is happier with another person than s/he ever was with you, chances are you are not a happy person.

~Just L (February 10, 2018, Goddess Wisdom reprinted from 2008)

Author’s Note: Start there. Learn to love yourself first. Bitter doesn’t get more beautiful with age. Self-loathing will destroy you (and your children’s/ future love’s) life. Ultimately, you are only punishing yourself.

“You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen. But if you are still beautiful at sixty, it will be your souls own doing.” ~Marie Carmichael Stopes (1880-1958)

“At midlife I’m having to recognize that there are people I may never be reconciled with. People I loved dearly but we went as far as we could go together. We loved; we tried; that may have to be enough. ~Zana, poet, artist, author of herb woman

“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.” -William Penn

Her Past Becomes An Anecdote

She knows in her heart how many times she gave too much or settled for less. She notices this gentleman never fails to do the small kindnesses like open doors and help her with her luggage and coat. Tells her she’s as cute as a button in the morning; refills her coffee leaning in for a kiss. He’s open in a way she’s clearly stated she’s not, though she doesn’t make a fuss when he says ‘we’. Talks about spring as if together it’s a season not to be missed. It may not be love, actually. Still, when she’s in it she recognizes happiness. The reckless woman who nearly forgot how precious she is laughs with abandon as her past becomes an anecdote.

~Just L (January 2, 2017)

Published in the February 2017 Blender of Love Digest.

 

 

After Math

It is cruel how my own heartbreak betrayed me for so many days. I want you. I hate you. I love you. F* you. Why me? Come back. Go away. I wasn’t ready to stop loving him. After 461 days of bliss, what went wrong? Why did he leave me that way? (February 14, 2016)

I discovered that sometimes one needs to do a lot of screaming at no one in particular before one is ready to settle into the ruin and feel the decay. After avoiding it for seven months, there finally came that day. (September 15, 2016)

At last, 276 days later, my heart feels but it’s not wrecked. I watched as he slammed back two drinks before the concert, reluctantly engaged in small talk while avoiding eye contact, and quickly made his escape. It is so obvious he is hurt but cannot afford to feel. I am so much richer. I have no need to settle. Thank you for letting me get away. (November 16, 2016)

~Just L (November 17, 2016)

Author’s Note: On 11/16/2016, I saw him at our 11/11/2014 first date location… The very same restaurant before the very same concert on both days… Only this time I had a better view. *wink*

Is it a coincidence that it took me the length of a normal pregnancy to arrive at this day?