Why Do Some People Attract So Many Mosquitoes?

It’s not a competition
But if it is, I’ve won
I am living the dream
And it’s only just begun

I’ve been used and betrayed
And poked in the eye
I confidently fix my crown
My head and my heels high

I smell like cotton candy
My skin is just as sweet
Small minds want a taste
Their otherwise incomplete

Mocked, misunderstood
For my great happiness
Pests cannot lift up others
Cannot comprehend this

My fairy tale was burst long ago
It seems overrated and overdone
I’ve had lovers in 14 countries
Though I’d settle for a lifetime with the right one

I’m attracted to sparkly humans
The kind and the generous in spirit
Pure intentions with a moral compass
And someone who’s a bit satiric

Give me one who is well-rounded
Equal parts naughty and nice
Some PDA? Yes please…
Don’t have to ask me twice!

Beaches, fireworks, roller coasters
Concerts, travel, wine and food
Or snuggles by a crackling fire
Gets me in the mood

Oh, I’ve been loved and hated
By men, but mostly women
Jealousy is a terrible disease
Glad I haven’t been bitten

I adore my female friends
We lift each other up
And slather on insect repellent
Sharing life lessons and makeup

My heart remains soft
Much like my well-chosen words
Honestly, I curse a little (or a lot)
But hate and bigotry is never deserved

I’ll age like fine wine
As I have no bitter roots
Beauty and old are not mutually exclusive
Occasionally I rock thigh-high boots

I have done my time in an office
Traded the boardroom to become a Goddess
Overcame challenges, too many me, toos
What, you expect me to be modest?!

I don’t care what others think
My character and integrity are gold
I’ve worked in war-torn countries
Like a lioness I am bold

My adult children are my heart
They are better versions of me
My parents are shining examples
How good a life lived well can be

It’s not a competition
But if it is, I’ve won
I live my life out loud
Because at 55, it’s just begun!

~Just L (December 4, 2018)

Author’s Note: A little love and silliness — the best antidote for pests!

You are not a happy person if…

If it kills you that your ex is happier with another person than s/he ever was with you, chances are you are not a happy person. ~Just L (February 10, 2018, Goddess Wisdom reprinted from 2008)

Author’s Note: Start there. Learn to love yourself first. Bitter doesn’t get more beautiful with age. Self-loathing will destroy you (and your children’s/ future love’s) life. Ultimately, you are only punishing yourself.

“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.” -William Penn

Her Past Becomes An Anecdote

She knows in her heart how many times she gave too much or settled for less. She notices this gentleman never fails to do the small kindnesses like open doors and help her with her luggage and coat. Tells her she’s as cute as a button in the morning; refills her coffee leaning in for a kiss. He’s open in a way she’s clearly stated she’s not, though she doesn’t make a fuss when he says ‘we’. Talks about spring as if together it’s a season not to be missed. It may not be love, actually. Still, when she’s in it she recognizes happiness. The reckless woman who nearly forgot how precious she is laughs with abandon as her past becomes an anecdote.

~Just L (January 2, 2017)

Published in the February 2017 Blender of Love Digest.

 

 

After Math

It is cruel how my own heartbreak betrayed me for so many days. I want you. I hate you. I love you. F* you. Why me? Come back. Go away. I wasn’t ready to stop loving him. After 461 days of bliss, what went wrong? Why did he leave me that way? (February 14, 2016)

I discovered that sometimes one needs to do a lot of screaming at no one in particular before one is ready to settle into the ruin and feel the decay. After avoiding it for seven months, there finally came that day. (September 15, 2016)

At last, 276 days later, my heart feels but it’s not wrecked. I watched as he slammed back two drinks before the concert, reluctantly engaged in small talk while avoiding eye contact, and quickly made his escape. It is so obvious he is hurt but cannot afford to feel. I am so much richer. I have no need to settle. Thank you for letting me get away. (November 16, 2016)

~Just L (November 17, 2016)

Author’s Note: On 11/16/2016, I saw him at our 11/11/2014 first date location… The very same restaurant before the very same concert on both days… Only this time I had a better view. *wink*

Is it a coincidence that it took me the length of a normal pregnancy to arrive at this day?