He Doesn’t Need You To Fix Him

He doesn’t need you to fix him
But to live your life unapologetically
Support him
But grow on your own
Unconditionally love yourself first then him
He doesn’t need a mother
A savior or even a queen
Instead be his lover
His best friend
And partner in crime
Because he doesn’t need to be rescued from himself
It’s not in how much we give
How much we try to do
It’s about healing but also strength
We can’t say be a man
And then treat him like a child whose problems we step in to solve
We can’t say be a man
Yet then doubt his ability to do just that
Because he doesn’t need a manager for his life
He doesn’t need someone to tell him how to do it
But simply to take the time to do it for himself
To take the opportunity to do his own work for his own reasons, his own purpose
To find his own way apart from the desires or expectations of those around him
And to know we have confidence in him while he does just that
Regardless of where it may lead
Yet to step in and try to fix or solve
Is to take away his divine masculinity
His personal essence
And while we should always be his peace
His equal
To do that means we need to see the strength that already exists
The competence in their eyes
And the need to be the warriors of their own lives
Because the burdens in life are placed differently upon the shoulders of men
Yet often questions and doubts reign
As if we need to design the blueprint for their lives so they don’t fuck it up
As if somehow we know more
Better than they do
Yet what it seems to escape some
Is that while he’s a work in progress
He’s not your project to finish
The truth is he’s amazing just as he is
Just as you are
It’s never letting the love grow bigger than both of your independence
So it’s about being there to help
But not control
Being there to support
But not be superior
Being there to inspire
But not take over
Being there to love
But not judge
Because it’s never been about which woman makes him be his best self
But rather the woman that inspires him to become his best self for
So love on him
Let him be the man that he already is
And have the confidence in him to become the man he is destined to be.

Kate Rose

Author’s Note: Kate Rose is an artist, free thinker, lover, writer, passionate yogi, teacher, mother, rule breaker, and rebel. I think Kate Rose is my spirit animal! I love her poetry and mindful ramblings.

Kate recently wrote to me: “Beautiful site and collection of words… stay wild in love.” I feel so honored she took the time to send me an email.

In 2016, I was inspired by her, “We Only “in Love with 3 People in Our Lifetime — Each One for a Specific Reason,” but didn’t know it was hers. Still, I am open to #3….

Though her “3 Loves” has been stolen by many as being their own, she has a book coming out in 2019 on just this topic!

You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready…

“Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready.”

~ Lillian Vilchez, Married at First Sight Star on her and Tom Wilson’s divorce, May 31, 2017

Reflections on 1977

In 1977 (8th grade), I thought I was more brains than beauty, my limbs were too long, my nose was too big, my breasts were too small, my (23″) waist wasn’t small enough… Today, at age 55, I know that I had everything I needed. Just add a bigger smile.

Embrace it all. Now. Do not let another day go by without loving ALL of you!

~Just L (July 7, 2018, Goddess Wisdom)

1977

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2018

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Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge

“Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready.” – Nayyirah Waheed

Author’s Note: I am a collector of quotes on love. See Quotes for other thoughts on love and loss.