Willa

The windows rattled but I was not shook;
Your strong arms, my protection.
Reminded of your house’s strong foundation;
I settled in to the kiss of rain’s affection.

As the waves crashed in this Cabo Corrientes cove,
We found our own native rhythm.
Skin to skin we crackled;
Was it the lightning or him?

You drug the boat back into the southernmost (of Bahía de Banderas)
In the calm of the morning light.
We headed toward the rainbow;
God’s blessing, our delight.

~ Just L (October 26, 2018)

Yelapa, Mexico, as we were alerted of Willa’s approach. Video courtesy of Romeo Tovar Chavarin.

Author’s Note: My great niece, Willa, turned 1 this month. Coincidence?

Don’t Tell Him

Don’t tell him I think about him as much as I do
He might get the wrong impression
Don’t tell him he makes me smile
Or his scent is my obsession.

Don’t tell him I’m smitten
It’s just a crush
Don’t tell him from afar, my heart swells a little
It’s too much.

Don’t tell him I find him unbearably attractive
He already knows he’s handsome
Don’t tell him he’s kidnapped my heart
He’ll hold it for ransom.

Don’t tell him I like to kiss (a lot)
He’ll attempt to make me swoon
Don’t tell him I’m catching feelings
It’s too soon.

Don’t tell him you think we make a cute couple
Because we do
Don’t tell him I dreamed about us already
He’ll think I’m crazy, too.

~ Just L (October 18, 2018)

Author’s Note: For Shane. He knows.

Unwilling To Discount My Price

What she doesn’t seem to know
Is that I broke it off with you two weeks ago

A letter that begins with “Dear John”
Restating my intention to take action

Letting go of the deep soul place I held sacred
No one to blame, the commitment faded

The stars were not aligned for us to last
Too much garbage not thrown out with the past

What is with the drama and games?
Only a tormented one seeks to defame

I don’t understand the trauma and jealousy
My spirit seeks a higher energy

I had charted my full life long before your arrival
My life is blessed far beyond simple survival

I am a woman of morals and high worth
With my feet planted firmly on the earth

I want a love willing to sign up for adventure
Not one who believes their life is indentured

What we shared is not enough to sustain
When you resolutely live in your pain

You sing, “You light up the whole world with grace and affection…
Let’s gaze together upon the horizon and run in that direction…”

Your sweet words of promise sound nice
Yet, I am unwilling to discount my price

~Just L (September 29, 2018)

Author’s Note: I’ve decided to set my sails for a life apart. Since 2016 I’ve been quite happy being a single serving ala carte!

sails

Prelude to a Kiss

I glance at my phone and feel a little thrill
“Hi sweetie!” I last saw him in April
Ah yes, I was getting my birthday tattoo
“It’d be great if we could get together”
“I look forward to seeing you, too.”

***

We meet at my favorite dinner spot
I’m playing it cool, yet feeling hot
We order a truly fine Baja wine
Share risotto and crème brûlée
Flirtatious innuendos pass the time.

***

“Does this bother you?”
I read the screen and laugh, “No.”
His hand is in my waist-length hair
Sitting in the seat in front of him
I know something’s in the air.

***

Sipping whisky with the dancers
They ask me questions, I answer
I turn, ‘Hey Handsome did I mention…”
He runs his hand up my thigh
Reminds me he’s paying attention.

***

Walking into the cool night air
A little tipsy, without a care
We slip into the backseat
He leans in to grab my face
Our mouths at last meet.

~Just L (September 29, 2018)

Author’s Note: You know how I love a good kissing poem, and a good kisser.

What if… *mind blown*

What if the reason for meeting him (#1) was that the Universe made sure he (#1) abruptly broke it off with me knowing I would seek solace on a beach in Mexico and meet him (#2) who would ensure I would return and entice me to stay just long enough to meet him (#3) who had not built his home when I arrived, and would distract me just long enough for him (#1)to realize his solace was with me all along?

*mind blown*

~Just L (September 27, 2018)

Author’s Note: Never underestimate the Universe or the magic of edibles. *laughing*

After Afore

11:11 am

I step out of the shower
Conscious not to slip on the tile
I glance at the microwave
11:11, it blinks
Make a wish
If only I could go back to that grateful poem
The one I wrote in January, I think
I select a pink dry-fit dress
Put my hair in a high pony
Anti-aging eye cream in spite of the humidity

1:08 pm

The heat of the day beats down on my shoulders
The convertible top down and the wind in my hair
I am headed on a picnic with friends
Where hummingbirds linger just a little longer than elsewhere
The water tastes of Hibiscus
A trio of shrimp tacos is delicious
The scent of summer rain is heavy in the air
My friends smoke a joint and laugh without a care
I retreat to my own thoughts for a while
And mimic listening.

5:25 pm

I stare at my computer screen
Trying to calculate the extortion rate of my life and love
Or trying to write a business plan for a client
Pretty much the same thing at the moment
There is no poetry in this task
I grieve the immense loss of a place I once had
Before trust was shattered, afore I dared ask
My resilient thick skin is wearing thin
I start to cry
Must I fight vulnerability? Do I give up or give in?

8:25 pm

Right now I am thankful for the rain shower head
I wash my hair as if I am shooting a commercial
I need these 5 minutes however superficial
If I had a bathtub I’d likely sell suds swimsuits
Sauvignon Blanc meet Mr. Bubble
I meticulously shave to remove all stubble
Why do women go through this ritual?
As if I expect a suitor to knock at my door
We’re nowhere near the fun, f*ck, and eat stage
A worn out sleep T is hardly a magic elixir.

1:16 am

For the first time in many weeks I’m relaxed
Sunk deep into the goose down mattress topper
I feel both heavy and high
In that moment before falling fast asleep
When the anesthesiologist tells you to count backwards from 10
9, 8, 7….
Right before I drift to Never-never Land
I feel a cool breeze graze the fine hairs on my spine
I smile
Everything is going to be just fine.

Everything is just fine.
It always is.

~Just L (September 27, 2018)

Author’s Note: 584. Why do I still count days?

I Made A Man Coffee This Morning

I made a man coffee this morning;
Something in that comforting.

Watched him drink it over conversation
Much to my elation.

It’s been awhile since I started my day
In this simple ritualistic way.

It’s how I envisioned my life
Once upon a time.

Sharing over a cup of joe
Being intimately in the know.

I made a man coffee this morning;
Something in that comforting.

~Just L (September 23, 2018)

Author’s Note: For Shane

I Have A Brand New Love

I have a brand new love
Who’s changed my life completely
We like the same food and music
Agree on spiritual values
Adore our children and parents
Talking to each other sweetly

We have the same temperament
Similar life goals so I’m told
Glowing hair and smile to match
We’re quirky and funny
And freakishly talented
Being yours will never grow old

My love thinks I am perfect
My strong body and brain
Enjoys long conversations
Encourages me daily
Proud of me always
Likes to snuggle in the rain

We have a list of projects
Remodeling the house (with you) was fun
Perfect travel companion
Motorcycles, trucks, cars
Cooking, writing, playing
Our list will never be done

I can’t imagine life without my love
Knows my dreams and my past
Steady in sickness and health
Everyday a new beginning
I know this love will last.

~Just L (September 18, 2018)

Author’s Note: When someone asks you who do you love, how long does it take you to name yourself?