In 2019, I Want Someone

In 2019,

I want someone who holds my hand as tightly as they hold my heart;
And misses me desperately when we are apart.

I want someone who adores their life and family
And embraces every moment honestly.

I want someone who is silly and can laugh;
And yet willing to fight on my behalf.

I want someone who fearlessly lives with integrity;
And is open to forge a shared destiny.

I want someone who finds joy in the present;
And one whose soul is luminescent.

I want someone who wants to grow old with me
Without ever growing old, you see.

~ Just L (December 31, 2018)

Author’s Note: I want more.

love travel

Don’t Tell Him

Don’t tell him I think about him as much as I do
He might get the wrong impression
Don’t tell him he makes me smile
Or his scent is my obsession.

Don’t tell him I’m smitten
It’s just a crush
Don’t tell him from afar, my heart swells a little
It’s too much.

Don’t tell him I find him unbearably attractive
He already knows he’s handsome
Don’t tell him he’s kidnapped my heart
He’ll hold it for ransom.

Don’t tell him I like to kiss (a lot)
He’ll attempt to make me swoon
Don’t tell him I’m catching feelings
It’s too soon.

Don’t tell him you think we make a cute couple
Because we do
Don’t tell him I dreamed about us already
He’ll think I’m crazy, too.

~ Just L (October 18, 2018)

Author’s Note: For Shane. He knows.

Back It Up

Just know that I want you back
Hurry before I slip through the cracks
I don’t know where I’m going
I can’t stand this plateauing
I don’t want to hear you
I just want to feel you
I don’t care what you say
Except you’re coming my way
Send chills down my spine
Skin on skin smoothly divine
Rumbling through my soul
Present with no goal
I so deserve this
Weightless bliss
All my boxes checked
Until we feel perfect

Did I say I want you back?
I meant I want you on your back.

~Just L (March 21, 2018)

Author’s Note: It’s hump day.

I do

I want fireworks
I don’t want what is expected
I want to laugh uncontrollably
At inside jokes
I don’t want to fear the fire
But become it
I want to be held close
And throw caution to the wind
I don’t care who sees
I want to run wild
Scream at the top of my lungs
From the bottom of my heart
I do.

~Just L (May 7, 2017)

In Between the Devil and the Rest of His Life

He was not where he belonged,death-dark-angel
But he couldn’t follow his heart,
His dreams would not come true,
They always fell apart.

He knew he should leave,
As the love had fled long ago,
But he’d lived so long in the dark,
Fearing the light he didn’t know.

He believed in angels and yet,
When she appeared out of thin air,
The timing inspired some debate,
Recognizing not (the answer to) his prayer.

He found peace unparalleled,
Each moment close to her,
Felt solid, familiar and intimate,
All he desired is to surrender.

He knew where he belonged at last,
In his heart he felt no strife,
But he was caught in between,
The devil and the rest of his life.

~Just L (November 8, 2016)

Repulsive Forces

The pavement glistens on this rainy day

The house sparkles with the fall season

Reaching for the Chardonnay

I find you staring at me from my fridge

Months after your magnetism lost its edge

Your face is no longer pleasing.

~Just L (November 5, 2016)

Author’s Note: Rearranging refrigerator magnets and replacing photographs.

There is no sympathy for a woman’s life that appears swell

I find being single and dating at age 53 confusing as hell

There is no sympathy for a woman’s life that appears swell

While receiving multiple “Good morning beautiful” texts is quite sweet

I am too guarded to be swept off my feet

Tonight I treated myself to an early dinner of wine and duck confit

Meanwhile three men fight over the view at the bar where I sit

I know I am a catch, extremely smart and a striking tall beauty

Some would love to have my problem, but call me crazy

The truth is juggling multiple offers gives me high anxiety

A woman such as myself doesn’t expect anyone’s sympathy

Of course, I just wanna die with the one I love beside me*

Yet, I have no idea how to evaluate who this should be

I don’t have time to date this many suitors, but who do I tell?

So, to comfort myself, on the way home I stopped for Taco Bell.

~Just L (November 3, 2016)

Author’s Note: *
“Just wanna die with the one I love
Beside me”
is a line from “Honey Come Home” by The Head and the Heart.

Published in the December 2016 Blender of Love Digest.