Benefit of the Doubt

Are we really going to play this game, I stated?
What game is that? He inquired.
Where you lie and I lie down pretending not to notice, I said in a calm but direct tone.
I am not lying to you, He began…
What do you think, you have some women’s intuition? He continued confidently.
Behold, what is your secret weapon? He brandished.
When a man’s words do not match his actions, always believe his actions.
BAM.

~Just L (Goddess Wisdom, March 21, 2018)

Author’s Note: The truth is always in his actions. Words = Actions = A man who is worthy of a woman’s attention.

Keep Your Love

Without honesty love is unstable. Without trust love is lost. I will not compromise my respect for your love. You can keep your love; I will keep my respect. I know my high worth.

~Just L (February 10, 2018, Goddess Wisdom)

Don’t tell me what he’s like when he’s smitten with you…

Don’t tell me what he’s like when he’s smitten with you, tell me how he treats you when he’s angry – or bored with you.

How does he treat his family and friends? Does he have close relationships or are they simply work / hobby acquaintances? Do all of his best friends coincidentally live far away? How does he deal with challenges? Is he selectively compassionate and kind? Have you heard him make fun of people? Has he walked away from responsibilities? Is it always someone else’s fault? Have you witnessed him lying to another? Does he communicate well with others under stress? Have you heard him speak harshly on the phone to others? Does he keep score in other relationships? How does he treat any exes? How does he speak about them? Is he non-confrontational, but holds information for future bargaining? The truth is that a man’s character doesn’t change with his friends or with a woman. Don’t think that a man will treat you differently than he does his family and friends.

Go ahead , tell yourself, “He wouldn’t do that to me because of our relationship.” Don’t ignore the warning signs about his character and convince yourself that he will act differently with you.

He may be different in the beginning but I promise that given enough time, he’ll treat you the same as everyone else. Keep that in mind.

~Just L (Goddess Wisdom, August 22, 2017)

No Contest

He’d say, “I love you.”

I’d reply, “I love you more.”

To which he’d retort, “It is not a contest.”

No, no contest. I won.

~Just L (June 4, 2017, Goddess Wisdom)

Author’s Note: Sometimes exes really did tell you everything you needed to know, we just weren’t listening.

Easygoing is not Easy

From the time I was a young women I always strived to be easygoing. Sometimes this has been mistaken for simply “easy.”
In your quest to go with the flow, be mindful not to float past your destination (destiny-nation). Declaring your mind with a firm “yes” or “no” is far easier than cursing your location, and paddling against the current after the fact.

From “Keep Your Appointment: Practical Wisdom From a Spiritual Wanderer”

~A made up book title by yours truly, Lori Bumgardner AKA “the goddess” (May 8, 2017)

Author’s Note: Goddess Wisdom — Follow your heart but take your mind with you!

A relationship is going to unfold in only one of two ways

A relationship is going to unfold in only one of two ways: it will either last forever or it will fall apart. In order to get the relationship that lasts, you have to come to terms with all the ones that didn’t. ~Just L AKA Lori Bumgardner (Goddess Wisdom, January 10, 2017)

Note: Often this means sorting feelings from fact, and correcting faulty thinking that was imprinted on you from another who was incapable of loving you. Learn to live above your feelings. Learn the difference between being liked and being valued. Your significant other should make you feel significant. The man/woman who isn’t meant to be yours will mainly find flaws in you. Don’t allow a damaged person to distort your reality. Don’t let heartbreak change you. Mistreating the next person won’t do it, neither will pretending not to want love. Get up and try again. Be open to receive love.