Fine Spirit

Fine Spirit
Some believe my sigh is a sacred hymn
And my laugh the sound of angels
My magic is not for everyone
Inner gangster strong
Swag but never swerves
Built to make (wo)men come unnerved
I am a very fine spirit
An acquired good taste
Should you value appreciation
My heart the ultimate destination
Some people think I’m too much
They would be absolutely right!

~Just L (July 31, 2016)

Published in the October 2016 Blender of Love Digest.

You Can Do Better

“You can do better.”
I’m always confused by this
Who are you to say what’s right for me
Even if it’s wrong

~Just L (June 19, 2016)

Author’s Note: I don’t need socially ideal to prove my worth. I define what’s best for me by how much we love one another, not a ranking of smarter, richer, or more charming. Love and companionship does not correlate with how attractive or successful someone is, unless you are shallow. And no amount of good looks can take the place of respect, or that magic sparkle between two people.

Seeking Punctuation

Birthday Dress Back
Flirting with semicolons and new questions in an exquisite vintage dress.

NaPoWriMo Day 24: Today I challenge you to write a “mix-and-match” poem in which you mingle fancy vocabulary with distinctly un-fancy words. First, spend five minutes writing a list of overly poetic words – words that you think just sound too high-flown to really be used by anyone in everyday speech. Examples might be vesper, heliotrope, or excelsior. Now spend five minutes writing words that you might use or hear every day, but which seem too boring or quotidian to be in a poem. Examples might be garbage disposal, doggy bag, bathroom. Now mix and match examples from both of your lists into a single poem. Hopefully you’ll end up with a poem that makes the everyday seem poetic, and which keeps your poetic language grounded. Happy writing!

The words of this journal-style piece are not overly poetic. Like my life, it mingles fancy and un-fancy. This piece is proof that this hopeful romantic is not all glitter, noetic theory, and vorfreude. I got boogers, too.

In spite of our relationship status if truth be told he exited weeks ago over something someone said Or so he finally admitted a month later when pressed After days on end of silence lost in his head Can a social media mishap truly cause this level of distress I thought this mess only happened to insecure teens Not to mature adults with real history in between Surely not when your kitten is weak and simply needed a little convalescence Even if I did call him selfish and was apologetic once I regained my parietal lobe senses This is when my sadness turned clearly to dread Not for fear of losing him you must note For my high value I know But that he seemingly cared more about appearances than the prejudicial punishment on me bestowed Couldn’t find his way around his ego Not bothering to correct his mistake once seen Or most importantly cover his Queen This is how I expect my chosen one to have behaved Indeed until this moment it is what he portrayed An honorable man of his word Both gentle and strong Righteously angered when others did wrong Yet his generosity became dispensable on a dime Darlin’ endearments immediately withdrawn Love never so conditional As if 18 months of beautifully smitten along with our ease and trust was lost in no time How can you be resilient to that much pain I’d just leave him has become the refrain It is so hard when the person you love is not in the same space as you at the same moment But one failure shouldn’t completely destroy a beloved’s fiercely unashamed (even sacrificial) covenant I am patiently holding a place in my heart Knowing if we’re not careful we’ll forever be apart Tho’ I’ve not necessarily frittered away my leisure hours alone or depressed I’m joyfully flirting with semicolons and new questions in an exquisite vintage dress It’s stormy outside my window this eventide and I am listening attentively to the pounding rain from inside Praying it tells me where to place the period

~Just L (April 24, 2016)

“For Women Who Are Difficult To Love”

You are a horse running alone and he tries to tame you, compares you to an impossible highway, to a burning house. Says you are blinding him, that he could never leave you, forget you, want anything but you. You dizzy him, you are unbearable. Every woman before or after you is doused in your name. You fill his mouth. His teeth ache with memory of taste, his body just a long shadow seeking yours. But you are always too intense, frightening in the way you want him, unashamed and sacrificial. He tells you that no man can live up to the one who lives in your head and you tried to change didn’t you? Closed your mouth more, tried to be softer, prettier, less volatile, less awake. But even when sleeping you could feel him travelling away from you in his dreams. So what did you want to do love, split his head open? You can’t make homes out of human beings. Someone should have already told you that. And if he wants to leave then let him leave. You are terrifying and strange and beautiful. Something not everyone knows how to love.

~Warsan Shire

Warsan Shire is also the author of “Teaching My Mother How To Give Birth”

“To Be Vulnerable and Fearless: An Interview with Writer Warsan Shire”

Personal Life, Politics, and Pinot Blanc – “Yes” I say!

I have been pondering my personal life, politics, and Pinot Blanc… After all, aren’t they the same thing? ~ Just L (March 9, 2012)

I believe that every single event in life that happens is an opportunity to choose love over fear.” ~Oprah Winfrey

 

On January 1, 2015, I prayed, “May there only be things brought to me that I can say yes to. Move everything else that does not serve me well out of my way.”

Believing in God, this course I stayed…

A great expanse of happiness fills my heart today.

I realized…

The past year brought me a new love. A man’s man—made for me almost too perfectly. I would have never dreamed it this way.

As a writer and consultant, I appreciate the work I get to do and the brilliant people I get to work with everyday.

I have become so confident in my authenticity, abilities, my friendships, and grateful for the simple pleasures and great new adventures of each new day that the yammering of naysayers has faded away.

I’ve forgiven those who hurt me, stole from me, and lied to get by. Apparently I had more than enough to give anyway.

The heart swell I feel watching my adult children create their own path is more than I can say. Though their lives are changing, it is clear our special bond is here to stay.

Don’t ever let life’s trials steal your joy: “YES” I say!

“Personal Life, Politics, and Pinot Blanc” is a periodic series of ponderings by Just L.

~Ponderings by Just L (March 24, 2016)